Find your Path and run as fast as you can on it

I am so happy today. I have been reawakening myself from my slothful slumber. I have been tired all year since I graduated, having had several health issues due to being run down. I have taken time in the sun, gardening and let my thoughts find my real feelings. I have been unable to tap into that part of me for some time. I think it shut the door and said, "GET WELL". I don't know if some of you are doing what i am but as an older person now, no mature is nice but it's not a nasty work anymore, I feel I need to think what is super important in my life. What do I value. How much time do I have? Another 20 or 30? Who knows. I am lucky to still be in relatively great health except for this immune problem lately and that is due to not taking care of myself.
It's really important to listen to your body it needs care too and I am so driven I just forget but now I have changed. I feel better but my emotions were still down. I feel sometimes very lonely in this paradise I live in. I like the artists well enough but they are not like me, imgaginative. Some seem pretentious. I get bored talking to them. I get bored at the parties.
So up pops Chris Cogden and he blasts up here on his bike to see us. Wow I miss my friends in California. I got tired of trying to get their attention on emails, letters etc. After 5 years I thought well that's it things changed. But it seems we all went into life. Busy with life but you know I think many of us realized without friends we are nothing here in this world. What's the use of things and all that. Friends are your treasures. And why did well lose touch? We got busy living I guess, doing school, work, whathaveyou.
Chris lifted our spirits especially mine. I have felt slack in my art creation except for school. I have felt uninspired here sometimes. Its peaceful nice but .. kinda quite life I like quiet I have a hard time with constant commuting and such. But our town is like well I guess things are changing, we are losing many companies here shops etc. I dunno if it's the Walmart syndrome or what. But so many are going poof.
I miss being around smart intelligent, creative people in the sense that they are doing real things, not just retired with a bucket list.
I want to thank Chris for his kindness in helping me with my computer and actually buying me a programme that WORKS for something I was having issues with. And also for that nice little steak for dinner. It's been so long since anyone took me out for dinner and bought me something to help me.

I am so glad Chris came up. I feel inspired . I want to draw again.

It's a Sunday in the garden. The weather is perfect I keep waiting for thunderstorms, the only ones I see are in my mind. Crazy thinking lately.


I have been enjoying a long hot summer and we have a pretty garden. The veggies are not doing as well as I had hoped but ehh it's our first garden. We had a bunny hopping around all summer by the flowers but today she died in our garden. God bless to the bunny to Heaven where there is plenty clover for her.

I feel happy and its been a long while getting that feeling. I have taken charge of my life and friendships, let some go they were just too toxic.

The weather is perfect amount of warm and cool and nice breeze wow I love it when things move into fall here.

It's nice to be alone to do the things I need to do today. The yard man did a good job today and we will get this place looking neater and neater. That's when we will end up moving eh?

I hope Sunday is a good day for you. I am glad I am married to a perfect man for me. I am sad to find some of my friends verging on divorce now. Communication and allowing the others autonomy is key but today I dunno, do women want too much? Do men demand the impossible? What is it with us has it always been so? Staying in an unhappy marriage I don't advocate. But people as me how dowe do it. I said "marry your friend and keep your friend your friend as well as your lover and best person in the world. "

Blessings

Wow I have been married 20 years and still going strong. I married my friend. I said "you pick the date I don't care" so he chose August 31, 20 years ago. Why that date? It was a Blue Moon and he wanted to do something spectacular on a Blue Moon so he got married. This August guess what? It's a Blue Moon!!! We didn't plan that we just noticed it. So we need to do something looney for our anniversary. What I dunno yet. Dead blank on ideas since we live in a cow town and few good restaurants.

But I can honestly say, I am so happy I married my husband. It's been a good marriage. We planned a good life and retirement which will come one day. We are happy in general. We know we can't maintain this place forever and we have to hire help outside but it's a blessed place to live. I am very thankful.

We are asked all the time how we keep a marriage alive. We said, "well we married our best friend and we don't make demands that are selfish of each other, we give each other space and try not to let an argument go out of hand and we attempt and usually succeed in reconciling".

I have learned to trust and become giving more. He has always been giving and learned to let me have my breathing space. I am quirky in that at times I need alone time but I think that is an artist's trait. Thankfully he writes stories so we match nicely.

I hope all of you have a special someone in your life that lifts your spirits up too.

smiles,

Monika

Ok I fell off the world for a while. Excuse? Smacked my head in a fall and got a concussion. Ok that took time to over come and my hand didn't work for a while. I had to take a break. Went on a couple short term vacations to a Steampunk show in Canada and a visit to Vancouver BC. Was fun we dressed up we enjoyed our time out.

I get the Shingles. OMG!! Shingles?? Isn't that for old people??? I guess not!
More and more folks under 60 are getting it I am told. Even 20 somethings.GREAAAAAAAT! I take pills. I get better but it takes over 3 months to get back into the swing. I do not recommend ever getting them 'cause its no fun at all. And they do recur.

I have had a great summer we do not get sun like this that I have ever seen here. Its amazing!!! Wow OMG I love it and of course out in the garden again this summer. I went nuts this year redoing everything and building boxes for planting. Can't stick a shovel in this ground with all the rocks. It is rocks with a little soil between 'em. I have to pick axe it. Hard. I have finally started to hire guys to help us here we are just overwhelmed. I am trying potatoes and they went insane and tasty. Cabbage so far is going gangbusters, onions looking good, peas so so I hope the Brussels sprouts do well. The flowers are insanely happy and productive so my deck is pretty.

I painted the garage, the master bedroom and bath, the workshop including the cement floor and plan to offer classes in there when I get the shelving done and up again. People have been kindly giving me things I need to get set up. I want to teach sculpey clay modeling and paper marbling and to a few interested cases, airbrush. Painted the hallway, repaired all the scuffs in the house. Painted a second bath. I am tired of painting. At least that kind.

I have also returned to art school. I had to take a break after the shingles and get rested up. Back to studying detailed graphite drawing and oil painting. Yes I like the traditional art you - end up with an original. I like digital art too it doesn't have to dry and all commercial companies require submissions in that. BUT I love the time the joy, the relaxing state I get into , when doing oils and when finished I have a tangible piece of art in hand. And size does matter. lol! People are impressed with large oil paintings of quality.

The kitty, Molly, in my profile pick was eaten by something out in the wild here. We all think an eagle got her for the baby chick eaglets. We have had like 4 nesting pairs around our home. Kitty got out and never came back. Sigh. So we got another one. NEVER to get out if even we have to tie her to a chair!

I sit here next to spots_da_hyena, Punches Spots in the Arm, just for us girls yah girl power. Lol.

I hope to put up a sketch here soon. I plan to seriously work on my art and finishing the decor here now that all the repairs and paint is done. Winters are good for art studies here, and keeps me happy. I need more jolly endorphins in my system.

Hope all you good folks are breathing free and happy.

Monika

OMG this alien thing came down and shined all over us. I am now a nice sunburnt crispy critter. Serves me right for working in the garden naked and forgetting to put on the sun tan lotion. OUCH!
But I am starting to have a very nice garden. I have been learning a new art form called landscaping! How to do it what's the best look, stare at a million photos and go nuts trying to figure out what would look good and be easy work on your body. Using perennial mostly so you don't have to bend over so much. Ok maybe age is getting to me maybe I am just a tired old gal with a case of garden back and burnt skin.
I do however enjoy the results of all this work.
And at night I draw. I hope to have some nice things done soon that are worthy of being seen.
I have been reading Jim Butchers Storm Front about an all too common yet fun Wizard in the 20th century. I think he goes into the 21st too.
Art classes have been kinda fun but kinda tedious getting thing right. It took me a long time to just draw a statue correctly but it now comes out in me when I start to draw anything. I have to work on seeing things exact. This takes a lot of concentration. I have to measure a lot. Now I know why artists stand there with their arm out and a stick in hand measuring and measuring. This is very classical and very exacting drawing. But it really trains your eyes to "see" things. Relationships of things. People think arr is easy? Only if you stand there and splat paint while eating chocolate wine soaked fruit!

Well I have had a summer of busy. We had a couch surfer who would not leave so we finally put our foot down. He is now mooching off another person thankfully.

The image I am using here of a kitty is our gone kitty Molly. I am so sorry to say that the coyotes got her and we are sad. We spent a month looking for her and knew that living in this country you don't always get them back. We found a new kitty after a long month of looking for ours. Soo now we are training a new kitty. No don't eat the wires, no don't climb up the curtains, yes use your kitty box.

I am studying art now more formally and enjoying it. I have actually improved. My goal is to improve a lot more. Oils are less frightening than before. I can't wait to do more! I have been out doing plein aire work. Its fun but very challenging. Get the light do is fast big strokes. Still it's fun. I am just more excited about studio work. I know oils ugh not in vogue not cool hip and Painter 12 or photoshop. But I get the joy of an original in my hands. On my walls. Yes I do stuff on painter and photoshop and I may be doing some side by sides to get opinions on them. I think it would look interesting to just do that here lol.

Currently I am trying to get a lot of outdoor things done before our short summer goes poof! My garden is going to be rearranged in Sept because its a bit wild on me.

I am working on how I want to do things with websites. What art where how type etc. I may blog here or an art blog dedicated mostly to my art. In fact that would be best I think I can talk personal here and show art on an art blog and speak to potential customers.

Spots Da Hyena has been visiting our home this week and helped me do some house furniture moving. ahaha a man comes over and first things its move this and or that lol. Just a woman's prerogative.

well its way to late in the middle of the night. Waves and wanders....

I have been thinking long and hard about a lot of things in my life. I have little blood family and the few I do have well I don't have much relationship with. I am going to leave them alone. I am going to just go find my life. I don't know how many people just give up on family I wonder what having a close loving family would be like but I only have a good marriage that's about it. One person I call family the rest of my family will have to be composed of friends.

We have been down sizing a lot really heavily, and it is hard to go thru things from the past. burning it throwing it out or giving it away.

With that all said we want to live in a warm place that is affordable with a warm beach. Forget Cal and Ore!! Taxes so high you may as well live in a box. We are researching Austin and Florida towns. Any one else have suggestions? I can no longer deal with cold, windy grey 10 months of the year.

Well I discovered something... I have been afraid of oil paints.Why? I was afraid of doing it wrong. This is just fear and stupid.
FEAR is Fantacized experiences appearing real. Ok so let's get me going and just dive into oils. I dunno if oils still have a place int his crazy ass hurry up digital world anymore but I like an ORIGINAL piece of art hanging on my wall. I have nothing against digital it's great! It is fun, it doesn't smell, isn't messy has few problems in that way. But what is the original? A file. I cannot figure out where we are going anymore in this insanely fast past ever changing do I have to get all my stuff on another form of media again world. How many of us went from watching tv movies to buying videos to having to buy cd's of same movies to blue ray to what ever the next form will be medium I think I am going to sign up for Netflix world I give up UNCLE already ok I can't afford one more media change.

Really though I may end up only doing digital if my health won't allow me to do oils but right now I am trying to learn them an see what they do. UNTIL I send up unable to handle the smell, which really doesn't bother me and I do have a good airsystem I will continue to learn them. I would like to leave something tangible for someone some day who might maybe like my stuff.

If I have to paint this skull one more time BARF!

Now back to cleaning my messy pallette....I do love my graphite pencils....so clean and easy....

Well I haven't posted for a bit I know. I was not feeling tops and dragging around then came down with Shingles. I am a bit young for that I thought but my immune system was run down and too much prolonged stress I was told. Lost of pain in the back then spots prednizone,shingle meds, etc two weeks zip by and we go on vacation to a Steam con.

The Victorian Steam Exposition was fun although very small and intimate. The people were laid back and fun, helpful lots of creatives lots of neat stuff we bought some costume parts. Our top hats were great. I had made myself a pair of goggles custom with clocks and cool stuff. We had to walk a long way to the Empress from our Hotel and were photo'd every day it was fun we really enjoyed it a lot posed happily and yes we were caught at least by ONE Asian family lol.

School is coming along we are all learning VALUES over and over and over. Lots to learn and time consuming in teh way we are learning. This is way above what I have worked on in the past. Today all the oil painting students were learning how to mix values from 5 to 9 values. 5 was easy for me but when I got to 9 it was like wow this is hard. All you use is black and white and the toher students were moaning as bad as me we all struggled but I seemed to manage to get mine done in 2 hours. 2 hours of mixing but I learned more in those 2 hours. The others didn't quite make it and I found that most were having issues seeing gradations and believe me the moment you take if from your palette you mix on to swatches on a white board BAM you see your values right there and it screams where it is not right. Most students went from white to too dark which was too major of a jump. I was close but had to add some whites too to get them even from white to black.

So I did my project assignment all WRONG! I learned a whole lot about that I am learning rapidly from all my mistakes and errors and just the doing it. Doing it is what they say practice, practice!!!! I am setting up my own assignments now and setting time to do this and believe me you have to walk away about every 20 to 30 mins to just rest your eyes so you can see correctly. some people ran out and mixed in sunlight and I said no you should do it in the light you have to work with or it will change things or at least I think that is logical. Maybe not.

Tomorrow I get to try it again!

I am working on drawing now. That pencil technique I mentioned about holding it from the back end of the pencil and moving it in a flowing way long arcs and such. I was drawing a figure in plaster with thinned oils. Suddenly I realized why I am doing it because all oil paintbrushes are very long handled and you paint from the back a bit so you don't drag your hand thru your work. Using a mahl stick is easy for me due to having painted signs in the past. I feel more confident now.
My drawing is coming along too I never understood why there were so many pencil hards and softs like 4h to 9 B. Now I see it, the harder pencil lead ads a lot to your lights in a finished drawing and the 9 B is black black black. Nice!! So hopefully I can post some nice items in the near future.
Of course I messed up my first drawing assignment NOT knowing about the H pencils and I goofed my stupid sphere too. I thought it was looking good when the teacher just slaps that pain right over my work to I said hmm ok and took it home to look at.
I found for a time I had this fear of oil paints. I didn't know what to do with them and hadn't liked a lot of what I had seen by some. Now learning more about archival work and about how to lay down oils properly. But I just had this unnecessary fear that I think comes from oils being disdained as a medium for some time now. It seems to be returning and people are interested in how to make it work in the fine art styles of the masters. Even Illustrators like Norman Rockewell or his ilk interest many but I like today's styles a lot in painting. Hard to explain that I just like a lot of current work out there now emerging. Fantasy is now getting a little more respect but it's still looked at as kid stuff. But I think it rocks!